So when is happiness going to come around?

So, a little over three years ago my girlfriend, at the time, dumped me. I really loved her. I had never loved anyone like that before and I have never loved anyone like that since.
We weren't together for very long, but it was the happiest time in my life, besides my mission. That girl made me SO happy. I have never felt so happy in my life, not before I met this girl and not since.
Was heart broken when she dumped me and told me that she didn't love me and never had and never would.
I loved that girl, and somewhere in my heart I still do.
So the past three years I haven't been happy. I've tried to be. I've done my best to keep myself happy, but I haven't been really happy.
I have dated other girls since, really nice girls too. But I have never been able to be in a serious relationship, cuz somewhere I still love this girl.
I have met a couple of girls since that I could have loved as much, and that I could see myself marrying but neither of these girls wanted to be with me.
That just made my pain bigger. The pain of loneliness and rejection, a pain that I would not wish my worst enemy to experience.
So even tho the past three years a have been mostly pain, there have been times when I have been able to put this pain in the background and just forget about it and enjoy my life, but it doesn't take much to remind me of my loneliness and rejection, and the pain comes right back and so does my tears.
I can't count the nights when I cried myself to sleep.
Tonight I talked to a friend of mine who just broke up with her boyriend, and I told her that it has been more than three years since I was truly happy.
She then tells me that she doesn't want to be three years down the road and not happy. And trust me neither do I, but here I am. And there is nothing I can do about it.
People tell me I have to be happy for what I have and be happy with my single live. And that might be true, but I just can't. I want to be happy with my life, but no matter what I do, I'm just not completely happy.
So here I am, three years down the road, not happy, but wanting to be.
So when is happiness going to come around?

I Hate...

When I judge people, writing stupid blog posts, getting out of bed too late, celery, snow, working saturdays and sundays, cold weather, people who thinks they own the store when they are grocery shopping, getting mad over small things, being single, stupid danish tv-shows, female stand-up comedians, pictures of myself, when I can't control myself, bad drivers, saying stupid things to a girl I really like, people who complaint about everything, stupid questions, sweden, Nik & Jay, The Steelers, being asked why I'm not married or when I get married, when I have nothing to do, having too little time, when I do things that goes against what I believe, the tv show Moment of truth, when I waste my day doing nothing, S-train passengers, Brøndby IF, darkness..

I guess I don't hate a lot of things.... I guess that's good- 

I Love...

I forgot one of the most important things I love.... Crandall

I Love...

Pizza with egg, Bispeengbuen in sunny weather, liver and onions, Jolly cola, riding my bike, rock music, 3 doors down, danish rap music, Copenhagen, Idaho Falls, Laughing, FCK, worms(the game), NFL, running, telling jokes, my parents, talking all night long, being in love, teaching, my seminary students, My savior Jesus Christ, The gospel, Peanuts, rain, watching a good movie, holding hands, a walk in the forest, Café Retro, Nutella, danish stand-up, crying, tears of joy, my friends, Monty Python, speaking english, watching the news, reading my news paper, my cell phone, my laptop, romkugler, Kung Fu Panda, talking on the phone, my sisters, american girls, the danish flag, singing on my bike, my movie collection, iPod, the internet, flying, traveling by train, riding in a car, sleeping in a tent, the sound of rain on my tent, kissing, getting my hair cut, the sound of birds singing in the morning, my appartment, my BBQ grill, reading books, my scriptures, When you're looking like that, sleeping in, summer mornings, Kung Fu Piratos, My blanket I got from JM & Catherine, my bed, lying under my comforter on a cold morning, hot chocolate, being touched, touching people, hugs, freestyle rapping, smiles, smiling, s-trains, wearing a suit and a tie, job interviews, would you rather, discussions, honesty, going to church, I love you, Danny Elfman, dogs, complainting, Jes Dorph, flirting, my blender, the plan of salvation, general conference, fruit, swedish fish, when people touch my hair and a lot of other things.

I want to be a part of it...

new york, new york.

So thursday we went to new york. That was fantastic, I really do want to be a part of it. That city is amazing. I loved it. I want to move there. Man it was so cool. When I come to think about it, we didn't actually see all those sites you are supposed to see when you are in new york. We saw, Ground Zero, The New York stock exchange, and we kind of saw the statue of liberty, from a boat, in the dark and we saw time square. I really liked time square. I could live right there.

Look how beutiful it is.

So even though we didn't get to see sites like, Empire state building, the statue of liberty ect. We still had so much fun. We went to Toys R' Us on time square and there was a ferris wheel, we got to ride in the barbie kart, SO much fun. We had really good New yorker pizza, we sailed to staten island, had McDonalds, went to a Natural history museum, really great. We also bought a one day fun pass to the NY subway, which of course made the day more fun.

The first thing Burfelt and I did, after getting our subway passes was to leave JM behind. That was fun. Well, I gotta go pack so I can get back to Denmark.

Prolly the first post from Boston

So I promised I would blog everyday while in Boston, as you prolly noticed I haven't done that, and I'm prolly not going too, since I prolly won't have time to do that. I prolly promised you  pictures to. And the pictures will prolly come, but they prolly won't come until I'm home. I am prolly going to post just a few times while I'm here and there will prolly be a picture or two along the way.

So what have I done in boston so far!? I arrived saturday at 1:20 pm local time. It was REALLY cold, my ears almost fell off, it was terrible. We did spend hours trying to find a wendy's. The fist thing JM told me in the airport was: "Jepsen, I know where the wendy's is, so we can go eat right away" and then we walked around boston for hours in the cold, and then JM had to call her mother, who lives in Logan, utah to tell us where the Wendy's was. we finally found it and I had my tripple classic with chesse combo and a frostie, it was SO good. Well, then we went to JM house, it took forever, but eventually we got there. JMs room is SO small, I can hardly fit in there, and then imagine that I have to share it with Burfelt... man I'm glad he's so thin.

So sunday we went to church and then we went to see the superbowl and ryans place. Ryan is Catherines boyfriend. Thas was a stupid game and a waste of time since the stupid steelers won the game, so I might as well just have been at home sleeping.

Monday JM, went to school, so chris and I went to see boston, but we never really got into boston, we only got to the univeristy book store. But that was ok, we walked all the way and it was such great weather that we really enjoyed it. We later went and saw the teachers pet, JM, teach a lab, she was ok at teaching, except from the fact that she had to be corrected by one of her students.

So we went home and ate and watched the movie The Village. It was a REALLY stupid movie. If you haven't seen then DON'T, but if you have please let me know what you think of it, cuz Burfelt really liked it. It was dumb.

Then we played a game that Burfelt and I bought, at the book store, called Would You Rather...? it was fun and it created a lot of great discussions. 

So now it's tuesday afternoon, it's almost 1 pm and we haven't been outside yet, but I guess we will be in a minute. I have no idea where we are going and it's snowing out side. I HATE snow.

Next stop Boston

Well actually my next stop is London, but then it's off to Boston. I'm so excited. So here I am in the Copenhagen airport. It's 0630 am. One hour to boarding. Man I'm excited.. I justs can't wait. Man I have to pee. I have to write this though so peeing has to wait. I wonder if I'm going to be able to hold it while I write this. Prolly not, maybe I should just go pee and then write this. Nah, I'm pretty comfortable in this chair. I just had breakfast, I hotdog and a coke, man this is life, I wish my breakfast was a hotdog and a coke every day. Hey I'm in charge of my own life, and can have hotdogs and coke for breakfast if I want to. I guess that wouldn't be very healthy though so I better not. Right across from from where I'm sitting there is a Kaufmann store, I can see they have very nice ties for only $20, I think I'm going to buy one. Yes as soon as I'm done writing this I'm going to buy a tie, and then I have to go pee. Man I really have to pee. Should I go and do it now? No, I'll wait and finish this up and then go buy a tie. So I'm off to Boston, off to see my very best friend... Burfelt, actually he just went to Boston yesterday, yeah he's from denmark. But he is the one I'm going to spend most of my time with while in Boston. I've known him for the past 15 years or so, we've been through so much together, yeah I really love that kid. Man I really have to pee. Well, I'm actually going to Boston to see my friend Jan Marien Andersen aka. JM. Yeah I love her too. She is such a good friend. Can't wait to see her. There is so much to do in Boston, I guess there is a lot to do, I haven't been there before. The first thing I'm going to do in Boston is to eat at wendy's. I haven't eaten there since january 2005. Man I miss the tripple classic with cheese, so that's what I'm going to have. It's going to be GREAT. So as I have promised earlier I will update my blog every day while in Boston, with pictures, so please read every day. My friend Burfelt will be a guest writer on my blog during the week, so this is exciting, among other things we've decided to eat a new breakfast cereal every morning and then rate it here on my blog. So there is something to be excited about. Well, I'm going to go now, I have a tie to buy and a toilet to visit. See you out there.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh

Gode citater fra baltimore @ pittsburgh kampen:

Vi må beklage at det kun er jens og tommy i studiet og tommy har stadig MEGET grimt hår.

"Jeg sidder og får lidt kvalme, jeg ved ikke om det er alt det sodavand jeg har drukket eller om det er hans hår" - Morten

"Hvor er det vildt, jeg så det lige, AAAAAAAAD, hvor det klamt" - Pede

"Og Bolden tar' en tur på græsset" - Jens

"Det er en gusten gusten safty nummer 20, ed reed" - Tommy

"Han er den første rookie til at vinde to kampe i play offs i hans rookie sæson" - Tommy (øh ja dummernik)

"Billetterne har en værdi af 500 kr. så du bliver ikke spist af med en 14" skærm og en pose nødder" - Jens

"Joe Flacco har jo en KÆMPE arm" - Tommy

"Han rammer ham så hårdt at han tager skoene af ham" - Jens

"Godt vågned op" - Troels

"Det var altså bare et gi op spil" - Tommy

"Hvis jeg så den i realtime så er jeg ikke enig... men det er jeg nu" - Tommy

"Men, det er stadigvæk steelers der sidder på kransekagen" - Jens

"Den bold ryger en tur op i rummet og ned igen" - Tommy

"Han wrapper ham op i stedet for bare at skyde skoene op af ham" - Jens

"Og så er det ellers bare et stemple i panden, værsgo" - Tommy

"Det er to kopier af hinanden der spiller mod hinanden" - Jens

"Der bliver ikke givet point for stilen, det gælder bare om at lave point og komme videre..." - Jens "... og det gælder især i play offs" - Tommy

"Joe Flacco havde udset sig en receiver, men havde ikke set at der kom noget hår flagrende ud af øjenkrogen" - Jens

Philaidelphia @ Arizona

Gode citater fra philadelphia @ arizona kampen:

"Inden bag denne her solskærm der gemmer der sig en giftig spiller" - Henrik

"Larry Fitzgerald, han bliver bare ved og ved og ved og det er uden batterier" - Jens

Dagen spil: McNabb kaster en lang bold fremad, på 3 og 9, den bliver interceptet, Candinals løber tilbage og fumbler bolden, 

og Eagles får den tilbage til 1 og 10.

"Godt fin og klap i hænderne" - Dr. Bubba

"Se hvordan albuen flagre" - Henrik

"Jeg vil hører nogle ben brække" - Pede

"Han er igang med at rive det her i stykker for eagles" - Jens

"Ud af bounce" - Troels

"Det er en af tre ting han skal undgår og han glemte dem alle sammen" - Dr. Bubba

"Det er den klasiske skal vi danse situation" - Jens

"De skal bare have rystet posen i omklædningsrummet så de kan spille bedre i anden halvleg" - Dr. Bubba

"Så laver han lige sådan en lille en...." - Henrik

"Han er bleve ramt en masse McNabb" - Henrik

"Så bliver der slåsset i bunken" - Henrik

"Måske er der også en overhalinng på vej i denne her kamp" - Ukendt

"De må ikke stoppe løbespillet om det så galt deres mors liv" - Dr. Bubba

"Altså Edgerrin James han er BARE en kriger" - Henrik

"Han kan dissekere et hvert forsvar hvis der ikke er pres på ham" - Jens

"Nu trækker de op for at stoppe løbet" - Henrik

"... og du har slet slet slet slet ikke lyst til at stå med en 4 og 10 i denne her situation" - Jens

Den fesne fugl vandt.

Philadelphia @ New York Giants

Gode citater fra philadelphia @ new york giants kampen:

Vi må desværre beklage at Dr. Bubba ikke er i studiet idag, hvilket vil holde niveauet af dumme kommentare nede. Vi beklager

"De ville gerne have den hele vejen til huset" - Jens (hvad er huset

"De elimenerer Westbrook, hvis de tager ham ud af kampen..." - Tommy

"Asante Samuel... I skal ikke kaste hans vej, så går det galt" - Ukendt

"De her hold kan virkelig ikke lide hinanden, Det er ikke bare sådan noget prætensiøst, de spiller ikke bare for sjov, de HADER virkelig hinanden" - Ukendt

"Så står de altså med en meget meget lang 3 down..." - Tommy "... Det er pænt lang..." - Jens "... Ja Ja" - Tommy

"Det er langefingerneglen, så griber han den steve smith" - Jens

" Hvis han kaster et dårligt kast så hader de ham, så hader de ham VIRKELIG meget, hvis han kaster et godt kast, så er han ok" - Jens om McNabb og fansne.

"Det der er GANSKE ULOVLIGT" - Jens

"Det er altid en fejl når det går galt" - Henrik

"Og så eller fingerne i muffedissen"- Jens

"Du må ikke kaste på bagfoden McNabb" - Jens

"Tiden er i det mindste stoppet, så kan man glæde sig over det" - Jens

"Og så han bare et BÆST Brandon Jacobs" - Ukendt

"Så må holdene se endnu en kicker kommer på banen i aften, det er historien i aften" - Henrik

"Og LUR mig om det ikke bliver en defensivr TD" - Tommy

"Det der catch det er SUPER godt" - Tommy

"Jeg er en stor fan af inspirational citater" - Tommy

"Eagles fører bolden... MOMENTUM... lige nu går det deres vej" - Jens

"Det her er ikke slut endnu" - Jens(sagt med 4:02 igen)

"Og det har lavet nul og nix TDs i aften giants" - Jens

"Helt ubrugligt spil" - Henrik

Baltimore @ Miami

Gode citater fra baltimore @ miami kampen:

"Du skal ikke putte en 25 øre i ham der..."- Dr. Bubba

 "Det er nogle dræberkaniner de hiver op af hatten" - Tommy

"Du kan måske snyde dem et par gange, men ikke hele tiden" - Dr. Bubba

"Vi venter med at hive dræberkaninene op" - Jens

"Jeg er lige ved at tro vi er på"(efter 10 sek. stilhed med et blankt udtryk i øjnene) - Jens

"Vi er ikke blevet voldsomt klogere på hvem der vinder denne her kamp endnu" - Jens

"Scouting report på Ed Reed: 2/3 af jordens overflade er dækket af vand, resten er dækket af Ed Reed... Så det sagt, så er det VIRKELIG sagt" - Dr. Bubba

"Jo flere af de der dumme fejl som chad pennington kan lave, jo større chance har de for at vinde kampen" - Jens - Aftenens citat, fordi det viste sig at gøre udslaget.

"Påfuglen kommer frem og den har vi altså ikke set endnu" - Jens

"At være bagud med to scoringer mod det her baltimore forsvar er ikke sjovt..." - Jens "... Det er det ulimative OP-AD-BAKKE!!!" - Dr. Bubba

"Det er lækkert spil... WAUW" - Dr. Bubba

"De vil gerne have yards.... MEN det får de ikke" - Jens

"Fremtvang er et andet godt udtryk" - Dr. Bubba

"Jeg er ved at være bange for at Greenpeace snart kommer forbi, for der er delfin nedslagtning" -Tommy

"Han blev bukket bagover som en papirsflyver.... det der kan gi' skader af den grimme måde" - Dr. Bubba

"Det er for sent at afskrive miam dolfins" - Jens